"Think of it like this. If you are sad because you can't have something you want - maybe a book or a toy - you can do one of two things: you can do your best to get it, or you can stop wanting it. Either way, if you succeed, you won't be sad any more." - E.H. Gombrich, A Little History of the World
Lately, I have observed two ways in which meaningful events occur; 1) people make them happen or, 2) they happen to people. An indecisive mind will favor option 2, because although the indecisive mind generally seeks the same conclusiveness as a decisive mind, the indecisive mind is too apathetic to make that choice his/herself. In my experience, this apathy can be a guard against the fear of failure (or success). Sometimes, the indecisive mind resonates with phrases like: "if it's meant to be, it will work itself out."
A decisive mind will favor option 1 because the decisive mind knows the best way to make things happen is to take action and do. The decisive mind is not afraid of failure and knows that the best way to know is to find out by either succeeding or failing. The decisive mind does not count on things working themselves out.
It's the difference between making things happen in your life and letting life happen to you. If an objective is a neat stack of playing cards, the indecisive mind throws the cards up in the air and hopes that they fall back into a neat stack. And if they don't, then it wasn't meant to be a neat stack. The decisive mind collects all the cards and organizes them into a pile - no matter the cost - because that's what he wants for his life.
"Everything happens for a reason" usually because people make those things happen. And that's the reason for them happening. Because we make decisions and life unfolds. Not because we're figurines in a big snow globe that bounce around every time someone turns our world upside down.
Sometimes, things do happen to us that we don't anticipate, that weren't part of our plan. Obviously we can't control everything that happens in our life. And sometimes, "everything happens for a reason" can be a very comforting thought.
Right now, in my current situation, "everything happens for a reason" and "if it's meant to be, it will work itself out" are mindsets with which I cannot agree. Things happen - or don't happen - because people make decisions. By not choosing, you still have made a choice (to paraphrase a Rush song...).
I suppose there is a chance that all of the cards could work themselves into a neat pile; but I'm not betting on it, and I'm not waiting to find out for sure. I'm playing 52 card pick up.
What are your thoughts on these two catch phrases? Leave a comment a below.
No, seriously. If you read this, you should leave a comment below.
I couldn't agree more. If you want it, you've got to make it happen regardless of your past.
ReplyDeleteWow, this is a good one. I think I have written and revised a comment 3-4 times. I wish I was in Flagstaff I would get coffee with you.
ReplyDeleteI personally do not agree with the statements. I have never liked them. And truly, I feel people use them too often and only because they want to say something and have nothing else to say.
Somethings happen and are completely out of our control. Somethings happen and there is no reason for it. Some would argue there is a lesson to be learned and that is the reason why things happen, but waiting to find out what the lesson is, is just as frustrating as waiting to see if the cards are going to neatly pile themselves up.
If things are meant to be they won't just work themselves out. I look at it as "nothing is ever free." It's all cause and effect. Some thing happens because you made a decision. Whatever the decision was it cost you something (energy, time, a thought...).
Example: You are supposed to help someone, a decision is made and it changes the situation. Because of that decision two things can happen happen, either you walk away with a scar or you lose your life. You make a decision and act which leaves you with a scar. If you hadn't made the decision to act you might have lost your life. If you had let it "work itself out" you could have suffered worse.
I don't know if any of this makes sense in the comment. It makes sense in my head.
Or, perhaps the decisive mind IS afraid of failure and success, but chooses to act anyway.
ReplyDeleteAdditionally, "Everything happens for a reason" and "if it's meant to be it will work itself out" are problematic in their composition. They are blanket statements, usually used to explain away the unexplainable. And everything DOES happen for SOME reason. We just tend to discount others' choices as potential reasons. We view "reason" as some ethereal, unknown force in the universe. Which is quite silly if you think about it. I still think God plays a big part, and we don't always understand the why of any given situation. But that does not excuse apathy.